Yesterday the Obamas kissed for the kiss cam and made headlines. They attended a USA basketball exhibition game in Washington when the Verizon Center's "Kiss Cam" turned its eye on them. This device assumes all couples caught in its lens will immediately comply and osculate for all the world to see.Of course, the crowd went wild—in anticipation of a presidential pucker. Instead, The President put his arm around his wife. Some people booed. Later, the Kiss Cam landed on the couple again. This time, giving into peer pressure, they smooched.
A while back, some clueless, starry-eyed swain proposed to his girlfriend via stadium Jumbotron. When she said no, I cheered. You just have to wonder how many women, mortified by having their likeness splayed across millions of LED's, meekly nod yes to a bozo, just to get the damn moment over with. A marriage proposal is one of life's most intimate moments, and anyone who would opt to share it with 70,000 strangers wearing face paint and logo caps is someone I don't want to know. But, our culture is riddled with such piffle.
How many times have you attended a concert where the singer, usually one whose last hit charted during the Carter administration, shouts "everybody!" and holds the mic toward the audience, expecting the people paying him to finish his sappy chorus. I refuse. I also do not clap-along on command, like some pinniped at Sea World.
How many women attending weddings, perhaps on their third divorce, or with no intent of ever marrying anyone, are forced to their feet to prance like circus dogs for a bouquet flung by a bride who will, in all likelihood, be re-married within a few years?
Back to the stadium. I'd rather dangle from a noose than stand up and be part of a wave. And whatever the "I care" ribbon of the week is, don't ask me to puncture my garment with it. I'll let my donation speak for me, not some worthless piece of fiesta-colored polyester.
When I'm at a chain restaurant and the wait-staff trots out to sing Happy Birthday to some grinning diner, don't expect me to sing. I'll be busy discovering the secrets of the universe in the crushed ice in my margarita.
Once upon a time, conformity was the vilest sin.
Now, it's become a virtue.
I'll stand for the national anthem. That's it.
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